Sunday, February 18, 2007

Juvenile Smut

And, as if further evidence was required that I really should maintain two completely separate blogs...

...it's time for some non work environment, non child-friendly, non geopolitical smut.

It is, after all, the weekend.

First off, it's unlikely that I am, as happened a couple of days ago, the first person in the history of the Internet to confuse former Conservative Party Chairperson Theresa May MP with former British porn legend and professional dominatrix Teresa May...


Theresa May MP - most definitely NOT a pornstar


The poor woman. I cannot begin to imagine the shame and embarrassment there must be in having people regularly confuse you with a senior Conservative politician.


Anyway, Teresa's site it brilliant

My favourite parts can be found here...

FINANCIAL SLAVERY

Mistress Teresa believes that financial slavery is the purest way in which a slave can demonstrate his submission and devotion. A slave who gives his money freely to Mistress Teresa, with no expectation of anything in return, is showing Her that he considers Her far more important than his own material wealth.

While Mistress Teresa especially loves slaves who tribute large amounts, She does realise that not everyone can afford to, so any slave who makes a financial sacrifice for Her, no matter how small, will be looked upon favourably.

and here...

Mistress Teresa is looking to build up a stable of skilled slaves who can provide Her with a range of services.

She requires builders, decorators, electricians, photographers, plumbers, accountants, solicitors, doctors, mechanics and any other slave with a useful skill. She also requires men and women to act as models in photoshoots.

Personal slaves should not expect anything in return for their servitude, however Mistress Teresa will from time to time reward slaves who demonstrate exceptional dedication.

The girl's a financial genius and I can only wish her well

And maybe she should consider boosting her potential income even further by signing up to




Congratulations! You're being blackmailed using the most technologically advanced extortion service in the world, Extortr. If you haven't already, you should go to the web address in the email you were sent, to check that the photo or video that we have is genuine. If it's not, lucky you — you can let the timer next to it expire witout worry. If it is genuine, we recommend clicking on the "Pay Now" button as soon as possible in order to make sure that the material stays private.


And whilst I was browsing around Teresa's site I discovered the homepage of what appears to be a professionally managed
sado-masochistic purple dungeon which is conveniently located 'only 15 minutes by train from central London'...

The premises are very convenient after a night out at your favourite fetish club, as trains run through the night to East Croydon from Victoria Station. A word of caution, however: engaging in BDSM activity and use of dungeon equipment while inebriated is NOT recommended.

To be honest, if I lived in East Croydon I'd probably want someone to chain me to a wall and beat me senseless every night.

Anyway, I only mention it because the afternoon and evening rates are very reasonable and the place seems worth bearing in mind as somewhere a little different to host Christmas parties and office seminars

This is also an appropriate opportunity to apologise for doubting a friend of mine who told me a somewhat unlikely story about receiving delivery of a van load of
Carefree Polish Strippers a while back...



How could I have doubted you?

And I'm not sure if this qualifies as smut or not but the guy does appear to be naked - and that would seem to be the least of his problems...



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